I actually love this quote. Mainly because it holds so much truth to it. As I make my way into my seventh year of singledom it’s safe to say I have learnt a lot from my dating experiences. From the ones who make me cry, the ones who make me laugh and the ones who downright disgust me. Each one was a lesson well learnt.
To those who downright disgust me, or more commonly known as ‘fuckboys’. Thanks to dating a fair few of these the warning signs are now a lot clearer. I will however admit that some still make it through the net. Recently a guy asked for my number in the conventional way. No swiping or anything. I walked past him on my commute every day for months. We started catching each other’s eye and smiling at one another until one day he plucked up the courage to ask for my number. Yay! This like never happens anymore. He was very cute and quite charming. We started texting that day and he seemed really sweet. Saying how it had taken him ages to ask for my number. The conversation was going quite well and then BOOM! 💥 Unsolicited dick video. That’s right not a dick pic but a dick VIDEO! What the actual fuck! This aubergine came out of fucking nowhere! Having been unfortunately on the receiving end of a lot unsolicited dick pics you start to get a sense of when one of these bad boys might pop up. The guys will start up a conversation about sex or start with some dirty talk. But this guy was straight up burning my retinas with no warning. Not even a cursory ‘Hey, wanna see my dick?’ So yeh sometimes the fuck boys can slip through the net. But they taught me I don’t want to be with a guy whose spending more time in the bathroom taking shirtless selfies and dick videos, as they will probably spend more time on themselves and chasing girls than they would their better half. So if you’re single like me and swiping away, be warned of the topless selfie, bathroom mirror loving and oddly common pouting fuckboy! 🍆
To the ones who make me cry. Well these ones I have usually put in some time and effort. Over the past few years I’ve managed to date a couple of guys who I’ve been able to lock down for a month or two. And then…poof! Gone. They change their mind and don’t like where the relationship is headed. I’d like to say it gets easier and that you get stronger each time, and in some ways you do. You can become more resilient and start to know yourself better in how best to deal with the heart break. But in truth, the more it happens the more it hurts. It becomes exhausting thinking you may have found someone you actually enjoy spending time with or someone who might see something in you, but for you to ultimately be let down again. And to be honest, to again feel like you’re not worth it. It’s no fun. So over the years I’ve learnt to pace myself and not get carried away when I start dating someone. Sure I still get excited otherwise what’s the point if you’re not having fun. But I always let the lad drive the pace train. It just helps me not get carried away then.
To the ones who make me laugh. These are the men who have shown me what I DO want in a relationship. I unfortunately have a ‘one that got away’ a ‘don’t know what I had till it’s gone’ kinda guy. A guy that not just my mother but my whole family compare all future prospects to. He was just ace! Caring, kind and absolutely hilarious. One of the best men I’ve ever met. But unfortunately I was younger then and didn’t have much dating experience and as such didn’t know what I had. I moved away and didn’t think I was ready for a long distance relationship so at the time yes it seemed like the right thing to do. So I shouldn’t look back and regret it. But what I try to take away from it is that I have a benchmark of what a good solid relationship is like. How a good man should treat a women and I should never settle for anything less. It’s a good thing to have! Alas he’s moved on now and seems happy in a long term relationship. And so he should be. He deserves every bit of happiness and I just hope she knows what she’s got and doesn’t make the mistake I did.
So there you have it. Lessons learnt from just some of the ‘relationships’ I’ve been in. I’m sure there’s plenty more still to learn as I carry on my dating journey. P